The Beauty Therapy

Hellooo fellow biggies,
After a long long break, I'm back!! To tell you one super important fact that you know, but you do not wish to admit.

I am here to tell you that - You, yes YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.
(Henceforth for convenience the word "beautiful" shall also mean "handsome" for our biggie guys out there)

Puzzled ? Surprised ? How can fat be beautiful ? Is it true ?
Well, it is.

So let me tell you a small tidbit from my life that taught me a great lesson. I was to attend an event, and I needed a nice formal attire. I went shopping with my mom and like I've said before, the most traumatizing experience for a biggie is shopping time.
You know how salesmen in big malls talk to a biggie ? They'll look at you top to toe and go "Ah maam, I'm afraid the biggest size we've got is an 'L'!" Oh yes, that is embarrassing. Not to mention humiliating.
All prepared to listen to the dreaded dialogue, I walked in for the trauma therapy.

I immediately walked up to the counter I knew best - the counter for big-sized tops. Something I'm used to. A top on some leggins, and I'll be fine. Because 1. There's nothing else that would suit me, and 2. There's nothing else that would fit me.
I was just having a glance through this section, when suddenly I heard my mom call out - "Why don't you try on this ?" And she showed me a dress. Like a full dress. Like a one-piece, upto-the-knee dress.

I wondered if my mom's health was alright. Was she serious ? Dresses are meant for the slim, trim & beautiful. I've never seen a fat girl wear a dress! Because dresses are just not meant for girls like me!
I downright refused.

"But just try it on!" she said
"Do you want me to look even more ugly ?" was my retort.
"Ugly ? Who said you're ugly ?" my mom was stunned.
I couldnt believe I had said that. I had called myself a lot of things, but I had never called myself ugly before. And that stung real hard.

"You're a beautiful, beautiful girl" my mom said. "You just don't know it. Try on this, just for me."

Well who can win against a mom's emotional blackmail ? I sure can't!! And so I did try it on.

I looked at myself in the mirror to gauge how bad this actually looked. And I was in for a really, really big surprise.

I LOOKED GOOD! I actually did! The dress fit perfectly, the colour matching the tone of my skin...and lo and behold! A fat girl could actually look pretty in a dress!!

To all my biggie friends -
How many times have you just tried to look as insignificant as possible when going out in a group ?
That kurti and jeans that you always wear - well lets just put that on. There's no need to try out something new, it wont look good anyway!
How many times have you avoided bright colours worrying that it'll make you more visible, and thats something you dont like!
How many times have you got the opportunity to wear amazing formals for that business presentation, but ended up wearing your regular attire - because formals are meant only for the "slim and pretty ?"
How many times have you walked past that beautiful salwaar, but didnt go ask the salesman for one in your size because you just assumed it wouldnt be available ?
 Many times ? Yes, I presume. This has been my story for a long time too.

But that day I realized how wrong we are. We have absolutely no right to think of ourselves as insignificant. We have absolutely no right to not suit up. We have absolutely no right to presume an imaginary ugliness.

You, my friend, are beautiful. Not just on the inside, but on the outside as well. And I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. I'm saying it because I mean it. You are beautiful, and deserve every bit of happiness that is available to you.
Whats the worst that could happen ? The dress wont fit ? it will not look good on you ? So what ? Go try out another dress! But dont blame yourself for that!

For many many years I thought I'd look pathetic in a half-saree, something meant for the thin ones only. But I recently stepped out there, and found the most beautiful half-saree. And yes, I can confidently tell you that even a biggie can look good in it! :D

The world is waiting for you to conquer it my dear biggies, dresses are just a small part.
Step out. Dress up. Know that you are beautiful. Because you are. That's the only beauty therapy you need.

Signing off with loads of love,
Zip Zap Zoo,
I am special, and so are you! :)

Biggie's Got Talent

Reader Dearest,

Hello and welcome back :) Here's my first post of the new year - and today, I'm going to give you - an idea that changed my life :)

I met a fellow biggie recently, and I happened to find out a secret about her - something she had kept hidden with her for almost all her life. The secret - she loved dancing, and was actually really good at it too!

"Why haven't you joined a dance class ?" I wanted her to tell me, even though I knew what really the answer was. "You'll get to learn, to grow, to meet people with the same passion, and who knows ? Even perform someday!" I tried reasoning out.

"I can't.." she said. "I'm too conscious."

Of what ?

"Of the way I look, thanks to my size."

And with that, the field of dance lost out on what could have been a possibly wonderful talent.

I was no different. I remember the time I was asked to participate in an inter-school speaking competition quite a few years ago. I went because I was forced to, and upon meeting fellow contestants I remember cringing and telling myself - "You think you stand a chance against these people ? Look at how good-looking they are. When they walk up on stage, the audience would WANT to listen to them speak - they have the charisma. And you ? Who would want to look at you & listen to you speak ?!"

No prizes for guessing, I gave my worst performance that day.

Why is it that we biggies equate our size with our talent ? Is there a rulebook that says - 'the bigger you are, the smaller your talent' ? Then why the assumption ?

"I've always had problems with my size since I can remember..... When people would say something to me (about it), it would take like a piece out of me..." Meet Jonathan - a biggie. A biggie, who like you and me, had issues with his size. But a biggie, who DID NOT let that come in his way of his talent.

Jonathan, with his partner & friend Charlotte, ended up being the first runners up in one of the biggest reality shows - Britain's Got Talent. 

You've got about 5 minutes of time right now ? Here's a video you MUST watch -

Guys, I put myself out there and with all that insecurity stepped on stage again & again. And everytime I finished a speech, a tiny bit of the insecurity vanished. I would be fooling myself if I told you that I am completely fearless now, but yes, today I would not hurt myself by thoughts about the audience mocking my size. And trust me when I say so, the audience really does not care about your size. All they care about is - you.

So all you talented biggies out there - listen to this loud & clear. Your Talent is much, much bigger than your size. Let not this insecurity get the better of you, & your talent.

Go out there, explore your talent, nurture it, and bring it out in the open. Who knows ? The standing ovation Jonathan got may be just coming your way :)

And I never get tired of repeating this -

Zip Zap Zoo,

I am special, and so are you! :)

That was all on today's episode of Biggie's Got Talent guys....Stay tuned for lots more to come your way :)

With lots of love,

The Biggie :)

Stop pitying, Start joking!

Dear reader,

I'm back......and I have something big to tell you today!

This happened a couple of years ago...yet I remember every moment of it like it happened a few minutes ago. There I was seated on my sofa with my parents and a few others close to the family - engaged in normal conversation about how there needed to be a rule for lighter school bags for kids - unaware of what was going to pop up next.
Now the people I was seated with were models in the advertising field. An uncle suddenly exclaimed - "Arna you should think about doing small roles in ads...People like you are in demand nowadays!"
I almost blushed. Wow, there is scope for me to enter the field of acting!
Until he continued... "There are so many restaurants opening up lately..and they're advertising a lot. Places like KFCs & Pizza Huts. And for their ads they require fat people sitting and eating their food - so people like you really are in demand!"

That hurt. A lot. Well lets just say hurt would be an understatement. I don't know for how long I cried after they left.

It was a few years later that I joined an organisation called Toastmasters. In toastmasters, one of the main activities is to give what we call prepared speeches. (For those of you interested in developing your public speaking & leadership skills - do google up Toastmasters International - its a great platform!)

One fine day my mentor suggested I take up a different genre of speaking - he suggested I do an entertaining, almost humorous speech. I was in the search of a good topic for the same when I suddenly decided to do a speech on my weight! The speech was a humorous take on my life as a biggie.

It was THE day. I went up on stage and delivered that speech.
And you must believe me when I tell you that those 7 minutes up there were exhilarating. The final lines of my speech went - "I will lose weight when I will, but until then I will keep telling myself - I'm in great shape, and the shape is round!"
I could hear myself laugh as I walked off the stage. I felt light, I felt happy, I felt comfortable being me!

Till that day I resisted talking about my weight, I pitied myself, I felt hurt for things people had said.
Friends, that was the first time I had ACCEPTED that I was big - and it made all the difference!

Now getting back to the acting offer, just imagine me saying - "That's a wonderful offer - but I don't think they can afford a beauty like me!" and laughing off the whole episode. Life would've been so much more simpler!

Ahh I just read what I've written till now...Its getting too much right ? :D
Well I'm not going to say too much more...just a few parting lines.

To all you biggies,
Know, and Believe that being Big is not a crime!
Work on losing weight, yes. Not because you are ashamed of yourself. But because you love yourself!

Stop pitying. Start Joking.
Stop crying. Start laughing.
Stop mourning. Start loving.

Because YOU deserve the laughter. YOU deserve the applaud. YOU deserve the love. :)

Yep I'm almost done.... just remember
Zip Zap Zoo,
I am special, and so are you!

Keep the smiles alive! Keep the love alive!

Signing off with loads of laughter & love,
The biggie! :)

Time to say Hello!

Dear Reader,

Here's a BIG hello from my side!
Well let me tell you a little about myself... I am in that phase of a girl's life when 'beautiful' is the best compliment she wishes to hear about herself...at that phase when she wishes to fit in to every gorgeous dress she lays her eyes on...at that phase when strives hard for the perfect facebook profile picture...at that phase when...well you get the picture right ?

There's something else you've gotta know about me too! I am a 'big' person, I've been one for quite some time now. And being big is hard, let me tell you.
Now for a long time I hated shopping for clothes. It is highly embarrassing to listen to the salesperson go - "I don't think this would fit you M'aam, I'm afraid we dont have your size." And it is even more embarrassing to see another customer walk up, pick up that very dress you loved so much, and walk away with her head held high - because she knows she would fit into it!

For a long time I also was really afraid to make new friends. It was my belief that I was just not good enough for good-looking people. I wanted to be in my little safe environment, not venturing out to explore the galaxy out there. I was an extrovert no doubt, I spoke to people no doubt, but I was afraid of becoming part of their lives. I felt I would be an embarrassment.

And then something happened.

I am still big. But today I walk into the mall with a grin on my face, with my head held high.
I am still big. But today my life is filled with the best people, and loads of them!
I am still big. But I have never felt more beautiful!

What happened ? - I wish I could give you a definite answer. But I dont have one. Its a culmination of so many different ideas & beliefs! And this blog is an attempt to bring that out to you.

Through this blog I will attempt to give you a few insights, a few ideas, a few stories from my life..and a few stories from the lives of other biggies - that will make you believe me when I say that BIG is NOT BAD! :)

Well leaving you on a thought that I keep telling myself -
Zip Zap Zoo,
I am special, and so are you!

I'll be back real soon! Keep the love flowing!

With a Big Hug,
A fellow Biggie!